Before you say yes, check what is being asked

Listen first; solve second

Let the person finish explaining. Then describe your understanding in your own words and invite a correction. University of Minnesota guidance recommends listening without interruption, checking interpretations and asking for clarification. Its reflective-listening guide also recommends reflecting back what you heard and checking that you understood accurately.

You do not need a long interview. Start with the one missing detail that would most change your decision: the result needed, what is included, or the deadline.

A fictional example: the presentation request

A colleague asks you to ‘tidy’ a presentation. You are available to check wording, but you cannot redesign the slides this afternoon. Instead of assuming you both mean the same thing, ask what needs attention.

When you say tidy it up, what would you like changed? I can check the wording on the five existing slides. Are you also asking for a new layout?

Turn the answer into a clear next step

Suppose your colleague says the wording is enough and the presentation is needed for a 10 am meeting. You can now make a specific offer, rather than an open-ended promise.

‘I can send wording edits by 4 pm today. I will leave the layout unchanged. Does that cover what you need for the meeting?’

If the answer is no, you have discovered the mismatch before beginning. Discuss a smaller task, a different deadline or another available person. Understanding a request is not the same as accepting it.

Try it once in an ordinary conversation

1. Choose a low-stakes request that leaves something unclear. Avoid using a sensitive or urgent situation as a practice exercise.
2. After listening, say what you understood and ask about one missing detail.
3. State what you can actually do, including any important limit. Ask whether that matches the need.
4. Afterwards, note privately what became clearer and what still needs agreement. A simple note is enough; do not record someone else's confidential information.

Keep it useful, not mechanical

Use your own words. If your first question already settles the issue, stop there. The aim is shared understanding, not making someone pass a checklist.

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Sources and further reading

• University of Minnesota Extension: Communicating under pressure
• University of Minnesota Office of Human Resources: Building Trust